Stepmothers - how close are you to your stepchildren? Any advice or tips for creating a great relationship?

I am a stepmother of two and a biological mother of one and am looking for some tips to make my stepchildren feel as at-home as my biological child. Any ideas?Stepmothers - how close are you to your stepchildren? Any advice or tips for creating a great relationship?
One on one time, you odn't have to do anything special, just take everyone of your children (biological and step) one at a time with you while you grocery shop, or pay bills. If you can swing it try letting them pick out a movie to go see and take only them. In order for it to work you would have to set up a schedule, so the other children know when they can expect their time alone with you.


Most of all don't treat them any different than your biological child. (I don't mean that in a favoring of your biological child, just all to often step parents can let their step children get away with things they wouldn't let their biological child get away with, just to try to create a bond.)





Good luck!Stepmothers - how close are you to your stepchildren? Any advice or tips for creating a great relationship?
My stepson is 26 years old and I've been with his father since he was 4 years old. He's known me as his mother 2. That is how I sign his cards, and that's how he introduces me. Once his dad and I got married (20 years ago), I stoped refering to him as my step son. He became my son, although I never took away from his mom, whom he loved very much (and I despised).





since you don't say whether they live with you and how old they are, this question can be difficult to answer. If they don't live with you, then when they do come to visit, they have to feel involved. Do things with them. Don't lecture them - leave that to dad. Patience, tolerance and love are the key. One thing I did very early on was to make sure that my son understood that when he is in our home, it's our rules. We emphasized manners, kindness and togetherness. Any attitude was left at the door. I always went to his school functions, and once my own children were born (when he was 10), he didn't not become the babysitter. He became their brother (NOT half-brother). I hate labels and I think that is key to incorporating non-biological children..





He eventually came to live with us and things didn't change much. The only thing that changed is that we gave him the day to ';come down'; from visiting with his mother. Then it was back to normal. Eventually, we didn't need the day. We just always looked at him as our son and didn't treat him any differently than we did our own children.





Be involved, be patient, show him that he is a member of your family. If possible make sure their rooms are always their rooms. Don't make it the guest room, the craft room, the sewing room or whatever else it may be when they aren't there. When asked how many children you have, say 3 and don't differentiate. Make sure to discipline them the same as you do your ';biological'; child and make sure you don't have separate rule for them and your other ';one';. Treat them the way you would want to be treated, whether they live with you or not, and most of all: Make sure you and your husband are untied.





Love them, be involved and you'll do great. Oh, and one other thing....NEVER%26lt; NEVER%26lt; NEVER put down their mother regardless of how you may feel about her. Save it until they are WAY out of earshot. They may be someone elses children, but now, they are also yours in every way, shape or form. Love their individuality.





My son actually introduced me as his mom (no number) to the doctor who delivered his daughter and he introduced MY mother as his daugher's great grandmother. Making sure that your side of the family also treats them as your children will also go a long way. If your parents treat them one way, and your own child different, and you don't do anything to change that, the ';outsider'; factors will always be in the back of your kids' heads.
being a step mom is the hardest job in the world , the only thing you can do is try and not to favor your biological child and include them in everything you do





Just have to be there for them and love them like they were yours :)
I have 4 children and 1 step son.. The problem is not him, it's his mother. She is so jeolous of my other children that I had with her ex. Because her son was born first she expects him to have better treatments. She would say things like he is #1 and he does not have two mothers. It's been difficult.. This is a long story.. Too answer your question, just give them love do not exclude them, keep them in involved with things that you do as a family.. Good Luck to you!!!!
I am also a step mum to two and mum to one. I have known my step sons for about 8.5 years, and it's not easy!





I feel we have good relationship but I am constantly worried that they will feel I treat them differently and so go out of my way to try to treat them the same. This is difficult as my son is 2 and demands much attention as all two year olds do. I try to priase them, tell them I love them (which I very much do), tell them I am proud of them. I try to get individual time with each of them and show interest in their schooling, friends etc.





We moved 30 miles and changed our jobs to be in the same street as their mum, so that they had the most relaxed childhood possible. We gave them their own rooms, they have their own clothes here and we have family routines established that involves us all. I also take my son for baths etc to allow my husband to spend individual time with them too.





There is no formula. You just have to find your own right way. As long as you try your best, no one can slate you for it!





Good luck